Parenting is an overwhelming, and often, all consuming job. It is challenging to stay current with your partner during the challenging early years of parenting.
It is easy to get blocked in the ability to read, or intuit, situations with partners when there hasn’t been a time to “clear the air” for a while. This is when feelings of anger or confusion creep up with a partner. Nobody wants a partner who is building up unmet needs because ya know it comes out in snarky ways eventually!
Set a date to talk about parenting and life. Do something fun or just eat a yummy meal together. Instead of it being another “to do” chore, think of it as a way to nourish each other.
Here are 5 topics that will help clear the air and allow for deeper connection.
Topic 1: Each state your wishes, dreams, longings for yourself and for the family. Example- I would like a two night yoga retreat and I would like to set a day trip for the family to go out in nature.
Topic 2: What you each need to move towards fulfilling your wishes and what you need to do as a team for the family to move towards shared wishes. Example- I will set a date for the yoga retreat and schedule it with the yoga center. Discuss childcare needs for the time you are gone.
Topic 3: Your current frustrations or worries in parenting, in relationship or personally. This is where you speak to those things that feel stuck or blocked or painful. It’s important to keep it to how it relates to you or your partner. Like, I’m frustrated at work and want to start looking for another job- that’s your personal frustration. Your parenting frustration might be that you feel undermined in setting boundaries by your partner’s actions. It’s not the time for frustrations about a co-worker or your brother (ok for another time, this time is just for you as the parenting team). Just take turns talking about frustrations, next is the “what to do about it” section.
Topic 4: How you can support your partner in resolving his/her frustrations or worries.
Topic 5: Gratitude. This is one of the highest vibrations, so it’s a great way to end the conversation. What are you grateful for…personally and as a parent?
It takes practice and dedication to talking about the hard stuff, but you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner, even during the challenge of parenting.
May you enjoy connection and clarity with increase every day.